empty beds and bad behaviour

it's all fine & dandy that mister mark the cobrasnake gets to travel the globe even in the dead of winter, letting him seek out places like hawaii and new zealand for week-long getaways. but there is only so much a homebound canadian chick can take !! all of these perfectly tanned beauties, with their sleek blonde locks and supersuperbig shades shielding their faces from vicious uv rays are making me sick with jealousy.

i just wish i were perma-bronzed and blonde.

thecobrasnake

in other news, someone buy me this pronto.

chloe + missbehave = pure gold.

well, anything + missbehave is terrific, so one can only imagine this to be mindblowing.

zoë

november long weekend

let's discuss;
leggings as pants.
i can't quite put my finger on the primary reason why they bother me, they just do. sure, okay, they're a hipster trademark, or a comfort thing, or whichever other reason you may have to frolick around town in them, but unless you're a professional jazzerciser or robin hood, you really have no excuse. some agree, some do not, and i can totally see how opinions go both ways, but you have to draw the line at some point, and i guess i'm just one of those people who decided to draw it before stretchy spandex camel toes.
and the funny thing is that it's become a minor trend amongst the fashion elite just recently, whilst only a few years ago were we critiquing lindsay lohan for the very same offense. maybe she was ahead of the game ! maybe she knew that someday people would set aside the fact that they're not even that warm and synonymous with loungewear to instead sport them loud & clear, for everyone to see (and when i say see, i mean really seeeee, because you have no other choice but to see when the legging wearer's lower-body anatomy is completely evident to the naked eye).
i'll admit, i've previously been a leggings-as-pants offender, and when i was, i meant no harm. i may even do it again sometimem for all i know. i don't mean to condemn all you legging fans to a life of misery and fashion distrust or anything, i'm simply voicing my current opinion, which is that leggings as pants are bothersome. and most likely not as practical as we're all making them out to be.

see a resume of my opinion here.

zoë

taught me to swim.

i can't believe they even make shirts like this. there i was, innocently roaming fredflare.com, and suddenly, these jump out at me. there is no way to describe how wrong this is - first, why is blair's pink ? and serena's turquoise ? turquoise, really ? also, the shirts wouldn't be half as bad if they didn't have blake & leighton's faces plastered on them. gossip girl was one million times better before the tv show showed up and messed with my mind by giving me the supposed image of serena, blair, nate & dan. i'm sure cecily didn't agree to this.

whatever, i'm on team blair.

zoë.

we're going to miami.

pictures courtesy of instyle.com.

zoe.

your cherry looks good.

it's officially spring - you see that, on the right hand side, slightly blurred out ? those are ducks. ducks don't come back unless their common sense tells them spring is near. ducks are brilliant birds. their plumage, especially for the emerald green ones, is beautiful. ducks are quiet but reliable creatures. i trust ducks.



so spring better be soon, damn it.

zoë.

leave the lights on.

I'm going to be out of town for the next few days, on a sports-related voyage. I hope Jessica keeps you entertained in my absence, but before I go, let me just say this:

Are you kidding me?

Sure, the cover looks like it's from the Spring of '04, but don't be fooled. This, my friends, is the most recent Seventeen magazine, coming to a corner store near you by the end of the month. Why?

Zoë.

burn your paper fingers in the ashtray.

over the past couple of years, target has traded in their discount superstore connotation in favour of a more chic feeling. since the launch of GO international, a series of collections by notable designers & brands such as proenza schouler, erin fetherston, hollywould, devi kroell, behnaz sarafpour, alice temperley, etc, target has become a reliable go-to for fashionable bargains. you can get the luxury look on the cheap.
target was no longer simply target, darling, it was targé.


so, naturally i was ecstatic when i heard about a loeffler randall & target collaboration. loeffler randall shoes had always been without whistles & bells, yet gorgeous, and definitely lust-worthy. even though the sumptuous materials would be compromised due to the lower price, i was still psyched.

i am disappointed. despite all the hype surrounding this collection, it left me wanting more. where are the slick round toes ? the clean lines ? the deceptively cute hidden wedges ? the indisputable perfection of simplicity ? all the components that make loeffler randall what it is are m.i.a. in this collection.

maybe i'll forgive you, jesse randall, but you're going to have to really catch my eye next time. woven faux-leather bags & gold faux-python flats are not cutting it.

x.
jh

everything is about starting again.

death is a natural occurrence, and as we all know, inevitable. one thing you might need to be reminded of though, is that it is by no means limited to humans & animals. magazines, among other things, are included in this inescapable happening. now before you scoff & label me insane, let me give you an example: nylon magazine.
nylon started out as an alternative to the predictable and stereotypical magazines that dominated the newstands. it was created primarily by marvin scott jarrett, the current editor-in-chief. it was edgy, unexpected, eclectic, unique, independent, unapologetic, fashionable, substantial. far from anything that existed at the time. nylon chose bright young things - promising models, actresses, whatever - to grace their covers; while the competitors plastered the faces (and chests) of overused women on theirs. nylon was the perfect blend of siouxsie sioux, holly golightly, jane birkin, courtney love, alice in wonderland, and later on, cory kennedy. how could anything possibly go wrong?
well, for one, they stopped using intelligent girls on their covers. nicole richie? lindsay lohan? please. several readers grew tired and angry of seeing ladies like christina aguilera and the afore mentioned richie & lohan, resulting in turned-off readers. some even swore off nylon and vowed to never read it again. nylon started using cory kennedy - an internet fashion phenom - as their poster child. they even gave her the highly coveted position of writing her own column: cory's corner. she triggered instant obsession in some, and hatred & irritation in others. with their magazine on the rise, and their popularity growing, they broadened their horizons and jumped into the big sea of trends we like to call 'mainstream'. to add to that, they've collaborated with urban outfitters - the king provider of all that is in high demand of high school kids & hipsters alike - to make a collection of t-shirts.
gawker.com calls nylon a "disinfected, unfunny Vice" and i can't say i disagree. it's as if they're afraid to stand out and speak up because of their newfound prevalence in the magazine world.if we were to compare nylon's demise to a disease, alzheimers would be appropriate: slow, forgetful, and torturous for both the victim and the people around them. now, nylon may not be dead, exactly, but they are slowly spiralling downward.
and so, a word of advice to you, nylon: it is in your best interest to stop trying to please everyone and start doing your own thing again.

jh.

ps so many rants, so little time. i suppose i'm just trying to let it all out before christmas.

now that your wallet is all lit up.

while indulging in a monthly ritual of immersing myself in a plethora of magazines, i was flabbergasted (i swear it's the most appropriate word for this) by seventeen's biggest style stars of the year.
first of all, i just need to say: lil mama!? pink? AVRIL LAVIGNE!? they all have a style all of their own, but personally i would not consider them 'style stars'. here is the list so you can vent (or not) along with me:

17 - fergie
16 - beyoncé
15 - hayden panettiere
14 - avril lavigne
13 - aly & aj
12 - jordin sparks
11 - mary-kate and ashley olsen
10 - emma roberts
9 - jessica alba
8 - hilary duff
7 - pink
6 - lil mama
5 - vanessa hudgens
4 - amanda bynes
3 - lauren conrad
2 - ashlee simpson
1 - rihanna

rihanna?
maybe i am being a bit too harsh. rihanna's outfits aren't as offensive as lil mama's, and they aren't as predictable and cookie cutter as aly & aj's. but still, biggest style star of the year? i didn't expect chloë sevigny, cory kennedy, diane kruger, ashley olsen, peaches geldof, or any of those ladies to score the top spot (or even make the list for that matter), i'm not that naive. it is possible that i'm misinterpreting the list. it's a hollywood style list, not a fashion list. i realize seventeen tried to incorporate many different styles (hilary duff, lil mama, jordin sparks, fergie)but i was not impressed. but what else could i have expected from a teen magazine? to sum it up, nice try seventeen, but if you really want to have a diverse countdown, peek outside of the coffee bean and tea leaf.

rocking one louboutin
on another note, they have an interesting page about reader's choices.
apparently, three quarters of readers prefer minidresses over maxis, sixty-five percent prefer aviators over huge sunnies and clutches over totes. cutest couple is vanessa hudgens & zac efron*, and hottest hottie is pete wentz*. best makeover? reese witherspoon. i can't argue with that. best makeunder goes to ashley tisdale, and l.a.m.b. is voted the best clothing line. i can now say that i am definitely not a typical seventeen reader, although there wasn't ever any doubt about that.

jh.
ps christmas is in 27 sleeps!
*i'm not even going to say anything about that.

Too scared to own up.

Whenever magazines boast that they have created seven outfits from seven articles of clothing, I raise my eyebrows in disbelief. Because I know that this is what they do everytime: They have their seven base items, but what really makes the outfits are the additional pieces. They'll tell you that the skirt and shirt will create an ideal outfit, yet you know that without the blazer and coloured tights, the outfit would be as bland as flavourless oatmeal. Right? So before I knock them even more, I'll try it out myself. Here is my 'seven pieces in seven days' attempt.


First Outfit - 1, 5 and 3, with 2 over everything. 7 on the feet.
Second Outfit - 5 underneath 4 (variation: 6 underneath 4). [optional: add any heels or flats you've got (or sport the ankles boots - 7), and pile on the chain necklaces.]
Third Outfit - 6, 2, 3 and 7. Place 2 so that it covers the hem of 6.
Fourth Outfit - 5 over 6, with 3 and 7. Casually roll up the sleeves of 6 to reduce the prim perfection. [optional: replace leggings with jeans.]
Fifth Outfit - 4. Pretty simple, right? [optional: add belt if you want to grunge it down, and wear either 7 or some flats/heels on your feet.
Sixth Oufit - 1 and 3. Wear 1 backwards & slouchy so that it's a deep v in the back, a la Alexander Wang.
Seventh Outfit - 6 over 4 with 7. [variation: add 2. add 5 under 6 with 2. 5 and 2 over 4. 5 under 6 (unbuttoned), with or without 2 over 4.]

And there you have it. All of these outfits can be jazzed up with your own accessories, or can be left as is. It's up to you to decide.

Jessica.
Image credits: American Apparel, Anthropologie, American Apparel, Hanii Y, Julie Verhoeven for Mulberry, APC, and Aldo.

Ready when you are.

Why is everything at Urban Outfitters Europe, so much more amazing? It's less intricate lace dresses, with flowered prints and maryjanes, and more vibrant popart tees and synthetics. Very '80s drama queen meets demure mademoiselle. Not too over-the-top, just enough to get noticed. No, I take that back. Very over-the-top, just enough to get noticed.

Anyways, I love these shoes. Especially since they're twenty four carats.

Check it all out at Urban Outfitters Europe, and while you're at it, go to www.topshop.com for even more from across the pond.

Peace out,
Zoë.